retwien (retwien) wrote,

sachertorte and stadtpark

know i am a bit obsessed with this at the moment, but this (journal) is for me (and anyone who wants) and so i will do what i like or write when i like! just had a nice walk into town and we had a sachertorte and a cappuccino in Cafe Alt Wien, don't usually drink coffee but just felt like it. Then went for another walk this time through Stadt Park, is raining and cold though now. Feeling a bit weird as in a bit ill but not really ill. Ears also a bit funny, feel blocked and like they could start to hurt. (But bot too bad at mo.) Was a nice walk and a talk. Feeling somehow a bit more relaxed about things now, like even about going back to work tomorrow, though still a bit scared about how it will go. We were talking about loving yourself and also how I particularly am too busy about worrying about what is coming next or thinking about things when I should just be living in the present time... know that is a common thing of a lot of people, and is nothing new to realise but sometimes just seems to hard to do. If I have something in my mind then it just stays until it is somehow sorted for one way or the other. There is of course something particular in my mind. I guess it is better than when i was young when I just used to worry about things that were not even an issue, like almost every night thinking about what if i got ill in the night and never woke up! Actually maybe my things are not an issue now and I am just thinking I have got better, but do think i have got better. Am definitely more positive than in the past. Am worried about my worrying though...

P.S. Want to remember that when walking down the streets etc that am often thinking in german or at least trying to put phrases together in my head. I just do it naturally. Think it is probably because I am speaking English all day long, and so my brain is trying to balance it with living in a German speaking place. It feel nice though to know that my mind is trying to keep up the German.
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